you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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