i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
