She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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