i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i came on her dog
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can't turn off my feet"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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