Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
