so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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