Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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