Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
