ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
