Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
