Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
