so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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