Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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