mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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