Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
