So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
