I think my fart just growled at me.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize