I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize