I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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