But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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