i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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