and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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