i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
