Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
