My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize