had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am naked and annoyed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
