and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
