We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
