is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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