He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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