That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize