he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
