i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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