after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
