Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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