thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
