She is in my trunk
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
