absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
