my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
