I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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