he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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