Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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