I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
