My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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