You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
