We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
