I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize