Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
