Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize