OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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