she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
