is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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