Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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