Jerry, you need to find god
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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