Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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