john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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