Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
