Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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