So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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