I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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