i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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