im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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