Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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