): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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