North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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