my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
third nipple confirmed
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize