I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You pole danced in your parka.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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