I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
