I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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