you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
