you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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