That's intense
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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