so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
People with herpes should wear stickers.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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